July was another challenging month for our family. A few days into my parents visit, we got the call that David’s grandfather was not doing well. As the last living grandparent between the two of us, who we both adored, it was hard to hear. He passed away a few days later and my parents were able to stay with Caleb while David and I flew down for the funeral. It was a special time of remembering a wonderful man. One of his arrangements was to take us all out, one more time, at his favorite restaurant, the Seinyard. Grandaddy grew up on St. Andrews Bay and we’d heard many stories of his childhood there while we sat around eating fried fish and shrimp together. It was special to be there with David’s entire extended family. We were also able to see the plot of land where his home was and the Bay he loved so much. I still miss him and often catch myself thinking, “Oh no! It’s been too long since we’ve talked to Grandaddy!”
Shortly after returning from the funeral, just before going downstairs, Caleb says, “Mommy, can you hold me?” Knowing he was still feeling shaken up from having us leave for 3 days for Grandaddy’s funeral, I obliged. As we reached the bottom he hugged me close and said, “You better hold me now, because when I’m 10, I’ll be all grown up and I’ll be too big for you to hold me!”
Caleb seemed to understand that Grandaddy died as much as a 4 year old can. He was sad, but we took out pictures and talked about memories. Still we see little glimpses of him continuing to process things as time goes on. As we were getting ready to go one day, I ran back up for something I’d forgotten. After a few minutes Caleb asked David, “What’s taking mommy so long?” David said he wasn’t sure. Then Caleb said, “Do you think she died?” We’ve talked a lot about life, death and eternity (on a 4 year old level) and we talked some more that morning. It’s definitely a heavy thing to watch him process, but I’m glad he feels safe to bring it up as often as he needs to.